Monday, November 30, 2009


Feeling on the blah side of life I feel the need to do the very thing that usually fulfills the necessary catharsis for the current mood. I’m glad that I realize I cannot move back, so I have two options: stay in place or move forward. It seems obvious but where I am right now I need some obvious. Here’s a question for starters – Why do I feel like an old man today? On the lonely and isolated side of the evening I sat in this recliner in the apartment, in front of the TV and thought, “Where did The Ben go who wanted to live more adventurously and did the things he enjoyed doing?” Am I over-romantisizing the college years or even something earlier than that? Placing myself under the clutches of the past and an imagined fear of the present feels very precarious. I have the most to gain from this moment on. Forget about her (for a bit) Forget about my failures (more imagined) Forget about the worries…Forget about the past.

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