Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Bites

So I'm digging through all my papers that have conveniently (he he) gathered into my inbox over the past few months and I came across a special list. This particular list has meaning to it. You see, on a day that held extreme (or possibly bland) significance for my mother, I was chosen to run a few errands. A surprise party would occur and we needed a few extra, but essential items. The trip over to the grocery seemed simple and maybe even 'classic' in some senses, but this time the end result erupted in a grotesquely dramatic way. Pepperoni bagel bites, cheese bagel bites, cokes, clear party cups, check - well not quite. In great time I briskly walked (normal people call this speed walking) down the frozen food isle to find everything except the Bagels Bites. Oh, you snarly tricky bites, I thought "this is the only frozen food isle in the whole store, where could they have put those *$!@-#"~ BITES!
Time rushed by and I had to make a command decision. My arms were aching from holding the other items b/c I didn't "need" a basket. yeah! Baskets are for Grandmas! In the face of Trite American Product frustration I picked the fabled pizza rolls, a fair but very different substitute. Great, so i was on my way. As I drove in heroically, I placed the plastic sacks on the kitchen counter, and exhaled as my father quickly fished through the sacks. Something to the extent of "what is this?" came from my father as I thought to myself (why can't he just deal with this, gee!). The next few seconds were an unpleasant, emotionally charged, and narcissistic rant about how I could not find the bagel bites and how I was shocked that he would actually want me to go back up to the store and spend another seven minutes of my life on a grocery list. I regret all of it. After listening to careful instruction (which I probably had the first time but just didn't listen) the bagels were exactly where Dad said they would be, one isle over, neatly tucked between the chips and beer. The party went as planned, Mom was surprised and those who craved and desired pizza bites were satisfied. Later that week I submitted an apology to dad and I learned a great deal about his analysis of 'incidents.' Although I do think that Schnucks should reconsider where they put their bites. :)