killing mediocrity

Illustrations Friday:Dip

2010-04-08T22:02:00.002-05:00

Expired

2010-03-25T23:20:00.002-05:00

IF:Propagate

2010-02-25T22:26:00.002-06:00

Illustration Friday: Adrift

2010-02-18T23:29:00.001-06:00

For you my Love

2009-12-07T23:59:00.000-06:00

Race with me down to city hall my love. We shall push the speed limit and all the guards of the city will miss our car because cupid has distracted them. With feet clamoring across the skids our car just made we race up the steps to city hall (OH Please God tell me they have not closed) On time indeed, Yes oh Soon we shall be true lovers! Up to the official we race as freshman during the Track and Field finals. As cold air enters a diner I get cold feet, “is this smart, my love?” I think. You see my thoughts translating themselves on my face through the lines and sinking smile. The court house gains a feeling of a…tomb. With the patience like that of someone with nineteen children my lover stands in front of me, ready to go through hades and swim in the fire of doubt with me. Somehow, in some way (God are you this direct?) I realize as my lover stands there that she’ll be there, for me always. She could tell me to hurry, to get myself together, to grow up, but she’s patience. She puts up with my snags and ugliness and all the things that make me a creature of the night. I pull myself back to earth, back to her and back to the courthouse. As a set of reeds flow in the breeze our minds sway into sync and The Beautiful monster of Progress flies once again. First we each take a step, then another, her arm suddenly gains the strength of a bargeman and a sound of pure joy (which I could hardly begin to describe how that thrills me) leaps out of her mouth. Almost like the depth of doubt ever happened we are sprinting just as before. We meet the official and words go so fast from our twenty-something mouths that he asks us to repeat ourselves. Words like lighting take us to a horrible and painful existence, WITNESS. Our Official repeats for our hasty love soaked brains, “Did you bring a witness for your marriage?”

113009

2009-11-30T20:01:00.000-06:00

Feeling on the blah side of life I feel the need to do the very thing that usually fulfills the necessary catharsis for the current mood. I’m glad that I realize I cannot move back, so I have two options: stay in place or move forward. It seems obvious but where I am right now I need some obvious. Here’s a question for starters – Why do I feel like an old man today? On the lonely and isolated side of the evening I sat in this recliner in the apartment, in front of the TV and thought, “Where did The Ben go who wanted to live more adventurously and did the things he enjoyed doing?” Am I over-romantisizing the college years or even something earlier than that? Placing myself under the clutches of the past and an imagined fear of the present feels very precarious. I have the most to gain from this moment on. Forget about her (for a bit) Forget about my failures (more imagined) Forget about the worries…Forget about the past.

in Now

2009-11-28T12:34:00.002-06:00

Van Halen's "Right Now" appeared as the second song in the Pandora selection and it seemed very VERY appropriate. The conviction flashed into mind as clear as the pretentious beeping of my cell phone when someone sends a text. My psychologist mentioned the probably trite (but new to me) phrase - "You have to live in the Now. You cannot live in the yesterday or tomorrow." (paraphrase) I love it. hyper attention deficit, laziness, lust, and a generous sprinkling of Fear fight against this Now that I live and my efforts to make the most out of any scenario in my life. However, God in his Might and Sovereignty (yep, I am going to use the s-word) allows me to take each step. With all of the previous said I am ready to map out this Glorious non Grind of a day by prioritzing even the fun of this saturday. Bachelor apiphany of the day - Realizing that it didn't make the slightest difference that I would eat the chocolate cheesecake straight out of the container rather than try to look for a small plate.

Wednesday September 30th 2009

2009-09-30T16:41:00.001-05:00

~Feeling like an overloading circuit probably best describes this moment. I am the impulsive 2nd grader with a crayon and a HUGE coloring book that I cannot get my partially greasy hands on. Ideas zoom through my awake mind like the crazy cars from Mississippi, on their way into Memphis. It seems very normal to race at the first thing in my brain and paint it or draw it or sing it but I must first consult the one who created me.
~

2009-08-21T23:07:00.002-05:00

Cornell Krill, the marmalade colored creative sits in the peppermint tower of reflection. The tower stands guarded by the eternal Christmas trees. Cornell’s tears come from his sorrow because even though he is a trapped unicorn he is also a Creative Director. During the age of Vast (2007 – 2009 Earth Years) many of his projects began but were never finished. Cornell cannot remember how he ended up a prisoner in this sugary tower but he does know that his release depends on the completion of ALL projects. The last word that echoed from below still haunts him, “HALT!”

Idle

2009-07-30T21:52:00.000-05:00

Inside of Friday Morning

2009-05-22T10:31:00.002-05:00

I am sitting on this awkward wooden stool and looking ahead of the coffee bar as many, many, many people just passed by in almost a stampede fashion. Men and Boys in suits and Classic Southern Seersucker ensembles weave in and through the whimsical as well as formally dressed women and girls. Graduation for the Sixth graders at PDS just ended. It feels a bit like a fashion show because so many people constantly walk by, especially today because everyone brought their Sunday best. Every other day that I work here I think, "I need to walk away from this." This coffee house feels like I'm driving a Car with only three wheels sometimes. When I'm driving the "car" people come by and ask me, "Where is your fourth wheel?"

Monday is coming - take cover!

2009-04-26T22:11:00.005-05:00

I have to say right now that I am in good spirits. I really enjoy saying that phrase for some reason. I am really excited about the week ahead and all that i want to get done. Thankfully I only have one shift this week so it will work out for us (the kerns family of four) to head out Thursday morning - awesome! I am really excited because the boys and my older sis and bro in law will meet up with us a few days later. I will probably look back on my time in life right now and think "Man, I had it so good back then." But right now usually all I can think about is how I feel like I don't have anything going on (in my life). Here is the main objective for vacation week - "Recharge."

Alien Affection for Asian Anchor

2009-04-17T09:56:00.002-05:00

food in the forest

2009-04-15T11:53:00.001-05:00

I don't know what I'm going to do today, but I sure have a enough to do. The above illustration has no deep meaning but I'm sure you could find one.

from my brain

2009-03-29T22:54:00.000-05:00

Sandwich making & unemployment

2009-02-11T18:02:00.002-06:00

Many points in life simply move forward like a small line of beads, missed & barely analyzied by the mind. But then there are those distinct moments when one of those drops skips out of line, marking the end of one line and the beginning of another. My particular spot occurred roughly 22 days ago, the day on which Barry made his way into the white House and the history books. They let me go. I was a little surprised, but as soon as the words, “Ben, could you come to Jim’s (GM) office when you get a chance? came out of my boss’s mouth my Gut said, “This is it.” How often has my boss the owner of the store asked me to meet him in Jim’s office? Close to never
So yeah, I am unemployed and if you think of me I would appreciate a prayer or two. I realize that God WILL provide I’m just not sure how. Last line of business before I scoot out for the evening. I almost threw the above image away, then I noticed something. It has a recipe for a sandwich and “METHOD?” Is method code for directions for ignorant people? I have never seen ‘directions’ for a sandwich. The clear goop on the image is known as a "booger" in the Design world.

BTW – I have a crush. I hope she feels the same way.

my cool North American Friend

2009-02-10T10:03:00.000-06:00

Thursday Night (when it was cold as bricks!)

2009-01-17T19:28:00.000-06:00

Dovember

2008-12-08T21:14:00.004-06:00

'ello all! My auchenfoyle mug indicates that I have overtasted my coffee, so much for an early bedtime. I will avoid the present duties and ramble here for a moment. Here goes the recap - We will have a new [black} president. I wish everybody would focus more on content rather looks. We will probably receive many new and special ways to be taxed. I have survived the first (&hopefully last) cold of the season. I lost a local love. I saw a local love, but she slipped out during the Christmas party before I could say any more. And if the season couldn't become anymore interesting I went to serve my civic duty and showed up for jury duty. I liked the change of scenery, but the not the change of company. Slumber like you mean it gang.

2008-10-22T21:41:00.005-05:00

I'm happy as a bug in a rug right now. By the way, why does everyone assume that a bug in a rug would be really happy (in a rug)? Isn't that the human equivalent of saying, "I'm as happy as a human in the suicide lane?"

p.s. Hooray for 5hr. Energy Drink! I'm sixteen again! (minus the lack of confidence and crater sized zits)

Once at Starbucks -

2008-10-18T16:21:00.003-05:00

Jimmy Eat World cheers me up when I am moods other than very sad, happy, joyous, courageous, etc. I am placing this image of a great moment in my contemplative history. When you perk up your ears among others and appear to be focused on a book or study you can absorb a great deal of information. Today between 1230 - 1630 is not really worth informing/blogging about. I will say this though - I HATE looking for paper work, More lessons on stewardship...

just in time...

2008-10-01T23:52:00.002-05:00

I will make my deadline for October 1! I have exactly 7 Minutes left.
And the Winner is . . . Autumn! According to this Cerebral Cortex You are the favorite season for the 26 year in a row! What can I say this season just rawks my world. One thing to note about work today - this nice burned out guy from a band called today to place an order. I was going over some of the standard details of placing an order and then he interrupts me and says, "I don't know any of that computer talk." What a bold guy. He does not give a crap what people think. He is willing to call it the way he sees it.

LOL

2008-09-04T00:47:00.005-05:00

buy some mouth wash, check.
browse the fragrance section marked "50 % OFF", check.
notice the fragance, hummer????
Hummer makes a cologne?? Gosh, I laughed out loud and I'm sure someone thought I was crazy, but then again not at Ike's. So if you did wear that cologne and somebody asked you what you were wearing, how would you tell them?

Andy Warhol stole my gym bag and killed my cardio

2008-08-31T20:23:00.002-05:00

A few obscenities jumped through my throat, flew past my teeth and promptly landed on my freshly damaged passenger car door. Andy Warhol stole my gym bad and killed my cardio.

Two hours earlier the world seemed a fraction brighter as I pulled into the Brooks museum to view The Andy Warhol A to B exhibit. It was a great exhibit. Sadly, the last time I think I visited any gallery was two years ago.
Marilyn gazed blankly ahead through fields of magenta and green. Grace Kelly stoically gazed through swiggled lines of yellow and turquoise. Groups of Cammo canvases consisting of Retina irritating colors like lime green and radioactive pink shouted out at me. I knew what I was in for and losing yourself in any type of artist’s work and just soaking it in really makes the brain juices flow. Little did I know that Andy kept me away while my black gym back grew legs and walked off. Did the bag walk off during my intimate gazing moments over the Campbell’s Soup series or during the perplexing and nonsensical print of Paolo Uccello, St. George and the Dragon (1984)? Only Andy’s accomplice and maybe the silent statues of Brooks know where my gym back ended up.

With a head full of bloated intellectual thoughts about consumerism and a good deal of inspiration I moseyed over to the car in the eastern lot. As I started the engine a vacancy crept into my mind’s inventory of the terrain in my car and I realized that my gym bag was not where I left it. Optimism clouded my thoughts and I assumed that maybe I left it at the apartment or put it in the back of the car, neither option I remembered. The drive back consisted of many ponderings with the word “hmm” and “that’s strange.” As I made it up towards my apartment I confirmed what I felt, no (gym) shoes, no (gym) clothes, no gym bag. One more weak, and overtly optimistic possibility arrived in my mind, “What if I left the bag on the roof of the car.” So on my way back to Brooks I roamed the curbs while driving, thus placing my eyes in over time. Back to the Brooks I went and just in time since they close promptly at 5 on Saturdays. There was a shuffle between the museum guards and the short and rather off beat Asian lady guard directed me down the stairs. With a jacket longer than her arms and a smile on her face she asked me “So you not put bag in trunk?” The end of her comment ended in a laughter that usually occurs during a viewing of America’s Funniest Home Videos. Partially stunned and very agitated I responded “uh, no I had it in the passenger’s seat.” She took me through a series of heavy security doors and down towards the surveillance room. Ready to see some footage of the crime and maybe a glimpse of the beady eyes of Andy’s accomplice, I stepped into the surveillance room. “Sir, you can’t come in here,” Said the nice looking black girl at the helm of the monitors. “Oh, sorry. Do you see anything?" In a tone that would put a high schooler to shame she responded, “No, you can’t even see your car in this shot. I ran the tape back and I didn’t see anyone.” With no other suggestions or anything beyond a feeble “I’m sorry” uttered, they were ready to go. I followed the Asian lady out the exit and walked to my car, still baffled and frustrated. Still about 80 percent convinced that the bag had been taken I made my way over to the gas station to fill up my tank since the two round trips to the museum took enough fuel to set me back to less than a quarter of a tank. For some reason I decided to actually check the passenger door when I got to the gas station. That’s when I knew for sure that some [place your favorite word for crook here] stole it. I called the cops and the Officer filled out my info. I doubt we are more than a year apart. Enjoy my sweaty gym clothes and my worn out New Balance shoes!!!

_/\_

2008-08-22T21:17:00.001-05:00

I would consider myself a cultural chameleon.

please sir, may I have some more (time)?

2008-08-14T08:28:00.003-05:00

Arriving at a point where I accept that great ideas and great plans do not happen within twenty or even sixty minute windows might be the secret to eventual success. With that said, my time is up, at least for Thursday morning. Back to the trenches
Enjoy "The fall of the rebel Angels" by Peter Bruegel, The Elder.

birdie stamp

2008-08-09T13:58:00.004-05:00

I made two cents today. I left something in the car yesterday and I remembered it today. When I went outside to look for it I found with it this nifty little two cent stamp. I think it's from 99'. It used to be my dad's car so I guess he left it in there.

The Bites

2008-07-19T22:09:00.004-05:00

So I'm digging through all my papers that have conveniently (he he) gathered into my inbox over the past few months and I came across a special list. This particular list has meaning to it. You see, on a day that held extreme (or possibly bland) significance for my mother, I was chosen to run a few errands. A surprise party would occur and we needed a few extra, but essential items. The trip over to the grocery seemed simple and maybe even 'classic' in some senses, but this time the end result erupted in a grotesquely dramatic way. Pepperoni bagel bites, cheese bagel bites, cokes, clear party cups, check - well not quite. In great time I briskly walked (normal people call this speed walking) down the frozen food isle to find everything except the Bagels Bites. Oh, you snarly tricky bites, I thought "this is the only frozen food isle in the whole store, where could they have put those *$!@-#"~ BITES!
Time rushed by and I had to make a command decision. My arms were aching from holding the other items b/c I didn't "need" a basket. yeah! Baskets are for Grandmas! In the face of Trite American Product frustration I picked the fabled pizza rolls, a fair but very different substitute. Great, so i was on my way. As I drove in heroically, I placed the plastic sacks on the kitchen counter, and exhaled as my father quickly fished through the sacks. Something to the extent of "what is this?" came from my father as I thought to myself (why can't he just deal with this, gee!). The next few seconds were an unpleasant, emotionally charged, and narcissistic rant about how I could not find the bagel bites and how I was shocked that he would actually want me to go back up to the store and spend another seven minutes of my life on a grocery list. I regret all of it. After listening to careful instruction (which I probably had the first time but just didn't listen) the bagels were exactly where Dad said they would be, one isle over, neatly tucked between the chips and beer. The party went as planned, Mom was surprised and those who craved and desired pizza bites were satisfied. Later that week I submitted an apology to dad and I learned a great deal about his analysis of 'incidents.' Although I do think that Schnucks should reconsider where they put their bites. :)

hissy...fit?

2008-05-14T08:18:00.002-05:00

A minute ago I was in the middle of this little side project that I was working on in Illustrator and then it just quit on me. It's only funny and worth talking about because the text said, "hissy fit" and when I finished typing Fit it just quit. I thought you might dig that.

2008-05-10T17:04:00.001-05:00

I just woke up from my saturday afternoon nap and realized that my T-shirt & fleece (nap) blanket match. Oh, yeah and if you wondering, yes it was a great nap.

one year

2008-04-30T22:24:00.002-05:00

*O/O* ONE year at my job approaches and I feel excited, discouraged, and indifferent. I have talents. Up to a few weeks ago I thought that Graphic Design was my forte' but I'm just not crazy about it. I do know that I'm crazy about Christ. I do know that God has given me several creative tools in my proverbial toolchest, however I'm not sure which ones he wants me to use. I have about 60 or so days left on my lease and then I'm out of this scenario, which I am really excited about. I have two leads. Well, make that one lead on my next roommate opportunity. I should probably just pray that I could move out of state rather than look for a temporary situation and then move when that opportunity presents itself. The Federal interest rates were lowered today, supposedly that is a good thing. I remember hearing it after I picked up two chicken bisquits which I had been craving since I woke this morning. It's expensive, but I wanted to go for it and just eat them. They were good. White Starch, fat, chicken...mmm

February? Really?

2008-01-30T20:36:00.000-06:00

On the eve on the last day of the month I sit here realizing that it pushed forward really, really fast. It seems like not that long ago I was longing for the day (at work) to go by faster and wishing I had more stuff to do. The opposite probably exists now. There seems to be a small of tasks to fill throughout the day. Really, the only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that "it's (whatever the present emergency) not a big deal. I also seem to have some focus problems. Yesterday I rang up several transactions on "Void." That made my manager's life really interesting for a few days. I saw an old friend of mine today. She is old in the sense that we have know each other for about 7 years. 2001 was seven years ago?? Anyway, I hope we get snow today. They're saying just freezing rain, but we shall see. My best friend and I had this funny convo about how we were curious about Ariel, the little mermaid (when we saw it the first time as little kids) "I like this mermaid girl, but not the same way I like G.I. Joe..."

2008-01-18T08:01:00.000-06:00

She didn't want me, she just wanted my name.

Thurs./Fri.!!!

2008-01-18T00:28:00.001-06:00

Good (early) morning! I'm excited about the weekend because it seems like there hangs in the air an immense amount of potential, socially, spiritually & occupationally. Thurs. stands as a hefty day. Work was work and then some and then a little more. It's gotten to the point where it seems like they want me to do the stuff and objectives of two positions. I'm thinkin, "ok, either hire a new guy to man the front (and mundane tasks) and promote me to 2nd designer or don't ask me to do both. But with that said I may get too deep into the mediocre here. A couple of observations for the sake of *sparkle, old people are difficult to say no to, especially when they appear so weak & frail, I overpromise too often, & kids still wear L.L. Bean customized book bags.

*I couldn't think of another similar word but I think sparkle fits.

this monday

2008-01-14T22:23:00.000-06:00

Hello Reader! Did you have a good day? Did the sun shine on you or did the rain fall on you? I hope either happened, because whatever happens, God is in control. In many ways that seems like a harsh statement but in other ways it is so completely comforting, to know that it will work out (either now, tommorow, or at the end of time).
The attempt at making fried cheddar cheese allowed my brain to move in typically unconventional ways. Going back to the end of last night for a moment, I felt drained. My friend and I helped out with the hosting for mom's surprise party. We went through probably four coffee presses. The night lingered longer than I expected, but the whole shibang was worth it. I remembered that I need to be into work early tommorow (boo). It'll work out, especially if it goes by as fast as today.

happy birthday mom

2008-01-10T09:50:00.000-06:00

this needs a seperate post, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

it is the getting up part that bites

2008-01-10T09:46:00.000-06:00

Good morning everyone! My favorite weather occurence decided to show up & I thought to myself, maybe skipping on work today would be nice. The rain just started pouring down about the time that my first alarm went off. Then the left brain kicked in to gear to remind me that it would be better to suck it up and go to work (especially because I need the dough). Yesterday at work I had a comical moment when I opened a file & it was 12 dpi! (Usually decent files that go to print are around 300 dpi.) Alright, nuff of this, I'm outta here.

happy birthday mom

2008-01-10T07:47:00.000-06:00

this needs a seperate post, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

2008-01-09T07:58:00.000-06:00

At this point, the hippo may only walk so far. The hippo, while massive & strangely disproportionate, carries a great deal of weight. Once it arrives to the destination the party receiving it usually becomes overwhelmed. I feel that my blog presence or preparation for the blog presence is like this. I allow the time to add up & then before I know it the information (hippo) intimidates me and only a sliver of the "good stuff" gets through. The mediocrity which I desire to abolish ends up filling my entries because of the sheer lack of punctuality or relevance. I must leave to go to work, but before I go, I would like to address a certain Swiss resident. Thank You for bringing it to my attention. If you read this within the week, let me know & the next time you are in town Lunch is on me.

F rida y

2007-11-03T12:38:00.000-05:00

I can't get out of my head what I really want to say for this sentence. Last night was pretty fun. Our hostess became very smashed, very fast. Apparently she only had two drinks, but I found out later that she is a very light drinker. The party cleared out shortly afterwords and that was only around 10:30! I have never been to party like that that ended so fast. A few of us lingered a bit and then we headed home. I left my car at thier house and walked back up there late this morning (they're right up the street). Breakfast consisted of buckwheat pancakes, which tasted like plaster. I imagined them tasting awesome, but that did not turn out to be the case.

Monday

2007-10-29T22:19:00.000-05:00

I think I'm on a roll with the blog. This happens to be the second day
in a row that I posted. Call the authorities, just kidding. Anyway, the
middle of the day had this definite rhythm to it. I went over to Taco
Bell (I really LIKE TACO BELL john!)to pick up some lunch. I ran into
some guys from High School, one who is decent (like in HS) and one who
is an ass (like in HS). At first I thought, "I'm not going to say
anything then I realized that would be very high school to do that. It
turns out the first guy works a steady waiter gig up the street and the
other majored in "Molecular Biology." He sounded like an uptight
prick when I asked him what he majored in at Vandy, Molecular Biology. Maybe I just expected him to sound like that. Que sera, sera. It was a good day. P.S. The original Dracula has NO soundtrack and remains to keep me interested.

Autumn Breaks Free

2007-10-28T18:10:00.000-05:00

After a week of drizzle and general weather gloominess (other people think it's gloomy) I am a little more inspired. The weekend probably hit a low point yesterday when I did a very high school thing, I compared myself to other people. I thought, "Well, lots of people my age doing _____ or _____ right now on a saturday night." Instead of thinking rationally I allowed that thought to cloud my mind, however some creepy apocalyptic reading helped my mindset. I am reading (and have been for sometime) The Stand. There are several characters and at 1000+ pages it is a whammee.

Tough Stuff

2007-10-17T23:14:00.000-05:00

As a member of the great and highly questionable community of internet viewers I failed. I failed to maintain a level of relevance. Honestly I was very surprised to discover that an old version of my passwork worked. I think I use it for something else, maybe paypal. But the 'failure' that I speak of probably doesn't deserve the name. During the time between my last post and this one a great deal of stuff occurred. A poor, fake blonde, actress died. People used the word 'surge' more often than the citrus soft drink with the same name. Al Gore received a Nobel Peace Prize. He cannot have the last sentence of tonight's blog so I will leave you with a much better name, Grace Kelly. Just Google the chick if you have not see or heard of her. Classic Beauty

semesters no more

2007-01-15T13:46:00.000-06:00

I have been away from the blog that blogger changed. I'm sure that this isn't a bad thing. Alright, in a nutshell Nov-Jan looked like this. I worked really hard from November all the way to the day of the Senior Show. Then graduation happened. Christmas shopping occured somewhere imbetween and then sickness arrived. Sickness didn't last too long and then it was off to NC for a CRU conference. Now
I'm just job searching. Lunch calls me, so I have been brief.

a l m o s t t h e r e

2006-11-26T16:21:00.000-06:00

In the midst of the storm I find myself in a moment of observation and sunday cheer. There is something about knowing that you are almost done with something and actually finishing. The end of the semester will be here faster than ever. When that moment arrives the mood of my present state will fall from existence and become Euphoria!

within 5

2006-11-06T13:28:00.000-06:00

This appeared to be the best moment to stop and write. I'm in class and we're not really doing anything right now. The weekend was a bizmal and I did get a lot of work done, but nothing interesting happened. It will be interesting to see what life will be like outside of the next five weeks, but until then I've really got to focus on everything. Sixteen hours worth of classes is a crazy amount, but It's do able. Wait, Doable isn't a word. Man, Americans make up too many words.

back on track?

2006-10-23T14:35:00.000-05:00

It is possible that It's basically been TWO months since my last update. Life happened and I conformed myself to the typical craziness of the semester and here I am!

Same day

2006-08-25T00:29:00.000-05:00

I went on a walk and I went up on a path that took me over to where some cows stood. They were to may left and I was close to the barbed wire. For whatever reason the cows followed me along the barbed border. The following didn’t bother me so much, but their clanging bells bothered me. I eventually made my way down a steep incline and found a spot with dry twigs all sticking up. I prayed briefly. It was alright but I’m going through some challenging times, especially with prayers and devotions.

dirty laundry

2006-08-25T00:25:00.000-05:00

June 12th

Today was an easy Monday except that I forgot that prayer was at 8:45 so I took my time brushing my teeth and rinsing my hair when I realized that it wasreally quiet on the second floor. Karryn, who lives in Chesalet spoke about prayer from this book. I watched people fall asleep. My study time went well but I’m still wrestling with the cigarette thing. I didn’t see or expect it to happen. That’s the whole thing, I think that if I was a little more prepared for the situation then it probably wouldn’t have happened. So we had Chili at Richard and Karen’s. It had some oates or barley instead of meat, which was nice. We talked about Christ’s claim to be God and then it got into a tangent about grace and someone thought that even Grace requires works (that was crazy).
After lunch I read on the deck and then began laundry for my work duty. Laundry is fun, except I don’t like dealing with the underwear, especially the thongs. Who needs to wear a thong at L’Abri? (Seriously,ladies, why?) Does any guy care? They probably don’t or maybe they do. If they do care they’re probably at L’abri for the wrong reasons. But I get to listen to music and sing along because no one is around. The sky right now is turning light purple and pink. So yeah, laundry went well, although a lot of people need to pick up their sox, the bin is full.

a tape

2006-08-25T00:20:00.000-05:00

June 11th

This one particular chapel was on Hebrews 12 and Richard spoke. The author of Hebrews is encouraging the group not return to Judiasm. The author shows a connection between Christ and their Judiasm. The true holiness (living rightly before God) is not just following a set of commands. 12:15 a certain care must be given to each other. Another words do not abandon your messianic Judiasm. Christ is the mediation of the new covenant. Christ is able to bring us into the presence of God, unlike any other time before.

The lecture became challenging to listen to when this baby was crying sporadically in the back. Richard is not a terribly loud guy so I definitely strained to hear him.

I listened to a tape by Edith Shaeffer. It was a look at the whole Bible, basically. It was very much a cliff notes approach on scripture but that’s why it was called “Birds Eye View.” I took so many notes but I’ll leave this one quote that is also based on Hebrews.

The reality of the victory of the death of Christ in communication with God, is that we can have victory in answered prayer. Christ’s blood- how much more shall the blood of Christ Sanctify than the blood of Cows and Bulls? The lamb of God has already been spilled. Christ was the lamb and the high priest. Christ has entered the holy place without spot or blemish.

historical objectivety

2006-08-25T00:12:00.000-05:00

June 7th

This guy lectured about History and Philosophy. Most of the following is a paraphrase of his words.

Historians complicate our lives. For example what are we supposed to do about all the immigrants? The border and crossing it has become an issue. Are we talking about building a wall? I doubt it’s the same as the Berlin Wall. { The speaker thinks so. He is very critical about the guest worker status (of Mexicans). He has a JFK Bostonian accent.} Christians should care about history (definitely) God entered human history at a certain time (hasn’t he always been in history since he created everything?) There is a debate about objectivity with history. We all study reality from different angles. The word post modern is a tricky word. No conversation could be made if you had no objectivity at all. History is a conversation between the past and present.

This was probably the only analogy that he spoke about that I liked.

The best way to respect the dead is speak to them (no thanks) or hear them. In Blizzardly weather we would tie a cord to the house and ourselves. We can find our way back with the cord and that cord is history.

A few things that sort of set me off about our speaker on this particular day was that he spoke about reparations and that we should have some sort of reparations (where do you draw the line?). He also spoke briefly about affirmative action (don’t get me started). However, he saw affirmative action as a way of breaking through standards or bad social norms and not something that should be permanent. Once again, where do you draw the line?

end of the world?

2006-08-25T00:08:00.000-05:00

Holy Crap! I just realized that tommorow is 06.06.06. The world will end tomorrow. Mountains will come crashing to the ground and oceans will rise, devoring the people in it’s way. I really wouldn’t want the world to end tomorrow. I still haven’t had sex. I mean I know that sounds really shallow but It seems like something I would regret after I was raptured, but then again maybe not. Anyway It’s just a date, but seriously, What if it did end tomorrow? Would Christ come back? Would every knee bow and tongue confess? It’s a great thought. Today was interesting. The morning began fairly uneventful however I’ve been very withdrawn the last couple of days. It’s just that there has been a lot of people around me than typically at home. I have to kind of step away from it all. After breakfast we had prayer time which was alright, except that I’m not completely about corporate prayer. There are a lot of expectations and pressures. I felt somewhat compelled to pray out loud, but I just didn’t get to that point. Maybe next time, that’s what I said last time.
After dinner we played a game of volleyball after dinner. Not too far into the game Sterling made a serve and I reached up to hit it and it was going too fast and it forced my thumbnail into my forehead, making a gash, thus causing it to bleed. Everybody thought it was funny and I did too until I realized that it was bleeding more than I thought. We joked that I would say that I got in a fight with Sterling.
[Mama Kay believed me for a little bit, but then I had to tell her I was joking because she got really upset.]

Phillipians

2006-08-25T00:05:00.000-05:00

June 4th

Here’s a piece from Sunday’s lecture -

True freedom is in Prison and in bondage we are set free. When you enter a relationship[ of dependence like the one you have with God you enter into a different relationship. Don’t sell yourself materialism, God will provide. Phil 4:12-19

a sad day for my jacket

2006-08-24T23:59:00.000-05:00

June 3rd

I bought a Ferne Branca [at the bar up the street] with sprite and tasted like the one that I had in San Francisco, except that it was a brown color. It must have been a different type of Ferne Branca. So I started another game of pool with Patrick and to my disgust discovered as we were leaving that some jack ass got ash on my polyester track jacket. [ when I say polyester jacket it sounds cheesy but the jacket is pretty swank.] I was upset. It left this ugly hole on the side of it. We all went up to Villars to some sort of tex-mex bar on the second floor [just off the main street] We each got a beer and I ordered some “nachos” which were just pieces of corn chips and little salsa, No cheese though! We watched some tennis on the big screen. [The one girl playing tennis looked like a man. It was strange. I think it’s because she has a big jaw.] They stayed, but I decided to leave and Patrick went with me.

redford

2006-08-18T18:06:00.000-05:00

It's not even close to bieng finished, but I'm going to take a break and do something new, post something about the present. I just wanted to take a moment to wish the old, but awesome Redford a happy b-day. If I get that far towards graduation as Robert I will be extremely happy (unless of course the Apocalypse happens).

sovereignty

2006-08-18T18:00:00.000-05:00

June 3rd

Shaeffer’s tape on Sovereignty was a lot to process. Here’s just a few paraphrases from the tape.

The Christian system begins at a single point, the existence of a personal, infinite God.
God alone as infinite, and nothing which is finite can exhaust that infinity.
If the finite creature (or man) could at any point exhaust the infinity of God immediately Christianity would not be true. He will never exhaust the person of God himself.

The morning was probably the first that I’ve had in a while were I thought, “I’m going to tackle today, I want to make the most of today.” While the rest of the day wasn’t with the same degree of enthusiasm I wass exited that it started that way. Muesele was served for breakfast today and it is really good. It’s a combo of oats, apples, peaches, and yogurt. It looks a little like Tuna Salad, but it’s definitely not.
Study time went well and I listened to a sovereignty tape by Shaeffer. At one point Shaeffer told someone to wake up (just as I was dozing off) and he said, “Wake up! I’m not just saying words,” It was interesting. Dinner involved really garlicky mashed potatoes with rolls (reall good ones) and baked veggies with salad. Some people wanted to go to this wine festival in the nearby town after dinner. I just didn’t want to go over there for just an hour because by the time we left after dinner there wouldn’t be much time left. I did dish crew instead. I was a little behind with my devos so I went and prayed down at a spot down the road above L’abri. This swiss guy walked by an I said, “Bonswa! (good evening!).” I think I scared him because he didn’t notice that I was there. I finished all of my devos and I feel like I was able to get a few things off of my chest (in prayer). I came back (to the chalet) and shot a few hoops with Josh and Arne. I took my last shower of the week, which was actually a bath. This time I was my hair. It had been about 3 weeks. It feels SOO GOOD.

Scriptural History

2006-08-18T17:59:00.000-05:00

June 2nd

Nick spoke on History and how it relates to scripture. These are a few things that stick out to me.

“The Bible gives separate accounts of history and isn’t completely linear. There is a grand narrative of the Bible. But why would God choose to have different narratives?”

“The use of misfits shows how much we depend on God and how much we fall when we depend on ourselves. The flaw is disobedience. You cannot get to God through history. Until you commit to God, only then does the history part make sense.”

Watch out for Flying signs

2006-08-18T17:56:00.000-05:00

June 1st

June probably deserves a whole page, but probably not this June first. It seems like November. The sky is just a shield of grey, disguising the mountains in the distance. Today consisted of a bruised head, a visit to the grocery with buying anything, and conversations revolving around other people’s relationships. This is an usual part of my life. I’m in a “youth group” setting with meals at certain times, group activities, and discussions. But it isn’t that way in other instances. It is not a youth group because, well, not everyone is between the ages of 15 and 20. It’s more like everyone is between the ages of 18-40. We’re all searching for different things. Some claim not to be searching for anything, but I think everyone is searching for meaning. Some are searching for meaning. Some are searching for meaning in truth. Others are searching for meaning in spirituality. It’s also a strange place for me because I am not working, nor am I in school. I don’t have to worry about these things right now since I am here at this point in my life to gain a better understanding of the word and my relationship to God through Christ, with the help of the holy spirit.
While I hear cars speed past the chalet and conversations flow through the old wood walls, I attempt to gather my thoughts. In the morning I was unsure about what would happen on our day off. I asked Kristen if she wanted to go to Montreux and Valerie also wanted to go. We hitched from Huemoz to Ollon, then the day became interesting. We were walking and I decided to walk in front because my “male” ego was feeling small for being behind two women. Now before you say, “Oh he’s such a sexist or he’s such a shovenist,” hear me out, please. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s difficult for me sometimes to be led by a woman. I don’t think it has anything to do with my upbringing, but I guess it would be stupid to say that none of it has to do with my upbringring. [ I think maybe some of my desire to be in front was about a innate role of being some sort of protector] Anyway, I was walking on a narrow part of the road and what seemed like out of no where the corner of a thick highway sign hit me on the top of my head. Now I’m not saying that because I wanted to walk in front is the reason I was hit. Simply put, like many times before, I was thinking of too many things at once and I wasn’t paying attention. Blood did appear and Val and Kristen gave their best “are you o.k.?” to express their sympathy or annoyance. I’m sure it was mostly sympathy. We got a ride to Aigle which was nice.
The train ride to Montreux was fast, but when we got there it (it’s a lake town) was cloudy and overcast. It changed the mood and we just sort of walked around to the shops. We found an indoor mall just across the Statue of Freddie Mercury. In the mall I found a WC and attempted to examine my head wound. The tingling had gone away but I noticed that there was a definite gash. The people in the – I paused for a moment to lip synch to “satisfaction,” by the Stones. The people in the mall smoked which looked strange. Kristen bought me a kinder chocolat which is this chocolate shell egg with a toy inside. It’s very cool and apparently in the U.S. they don’t carry them because you’re not supposed to have an unedible object inside of an edible one. So after the mall we walked around some more and then went into a pharmacy. By the way the parmacy in the malol had an “antiseptic” which I bought which “stops bleeding.” I’ll come back to that. At the second pharmacy I bought some cologne. We walked back and then decided to go eat somewhere. We tested out the toy, which was this catipult thing. It was funny. Then we bought some train tickets and I had to borrow some cash from Kristen for the train tickets. The teller next to me looked like a character on Eon Flux. She had a small mouth with high cheekbones and a narrow neck.
When I got back I decide to use the “antiseptic” which turned out to be a small bottle of COTTON BALLS! I was mad, my gut told me when I bought it that it wasn’t the right thing. Thursdays are leftover days. It was alright. Afterwords I bummed a cigarette off of Steffi. It was a brand which I hadn’t had before and I think it made me a little sick.
You should be here at night when we go to bed my roommates and I are just lettin’ em’ go (farts). My roommate across from me had this really violent one the other day. It’s also funny when you get the rapid fire ones.

Our diet rarely lacked in vegetables, fiber, bread and oh yeah, more bread.

snow, mixed with uncertainty

2006-08-18T17:54:00.000-05:00

May 31st

I had a study time in the morning with tree trimming for grounds. It snowed this morning and covered everything! We had a silly game of charades during tea break. A great evening topper was a bath followed by a screening of The Chosen. It’s about two friends in New York. One is from a very Orthodox (conservative) Jewish household and the other is from a more liberal Jewish household. It takes place around the time that Isreal was established as a state (50’s).

The other day I considered the theory that the earth might actually be millions of years old. How do you argue against the new “old looking” Earth theory? Isn’t this a deceiving way to create the earth if God made everything look old, when in fact it wasn’t that old?

I met with my tutor and got a little further toward uncertainty, again.

chili cheese lesbianism

2006-08-18T17:52:00.000-05:00

May 30th

I am sprawled out on the floor of the Chapel. I think it’s been a few days since I’ve written. Bless YOU! I replied in a whisper voice. Swiss French voices travel through the wall of the chapel as some people walk by the Chapel. Yesterday’s work afternoon involved some wood and rubble moving. It was Tim, Henning, Dannny and I. Danny seems like someone who is very comfortable with who he is as a “helper” (work title) and as a person. If I had longer hair I would aspire towards Danny’s. It goes down to his shoulders, but it’s got wave and volume. This tea that I’m sipping is making me hungrier.
I am happy for them, but part of it is some jealousy, not for their situation but more about their relationship. However, I think I’m in a good place right now though. I’m not working, I don’t have to worry about school, I can read anything I want, we play games, and we talk about serious issues. I’m learning more about Christianity and spirituality and oh yeah, I’m in the mountains! I’m trying to see how long I can go without washing my hair. Unfortunely, it’s come with ramifications. I have a few zits on the side of my face where the hair sits or lays sometimes. What am I talking about? Hair doesn’t sit. Dinner was awesome. We had chili with cheese, chips, cornbread, and a salad, very awesome.
I volunteered for dishes and the other guys who volunteered already started washing. I walked in and almost dropped an f bomb when I walked in to see them topless, wearing girlie aprons. It was really funny and it caught me off guard. The evening consisted of an elaborately drawn out game of movie charades. It was really funny at one point when Alana helped Josh act out Wayne’s World. She just walked up and put her hair behind her ears. Marnie guessed it immediately. The evening ended with a conversation with Jess. and Field about lesbians over the last three cigarettes that Jess. had.

Artificial or Genuine Prayer?

2006-08-18T17:51:00.000-05:00

May 29th

The heavy moisture from the fog hovers around the chalet and creates a translucent screen of white. Mondays are prayer days and we each sign up for either a half hour of ‘thinking’ or prayer. Simply Christian is this other book that Eden reads to us. It is written by an Anglican pastor. I don’t know what Anglican means. I should be more familiar with the physical geography of the Middle East. The Lord’s prayer is being discussed in this book that she is reading to us. We are caught up in an authentic argument about prayer right now (a passage from the book). Many Christians are grabbing onto the existential and postmodern way of praying. It is a method in which they are too caught up in making their own prayer and that if it’s an older prayer or a prayer written then it’s not authentic.

A common orthodox prayer that I wrote down, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me as a sinner,” is significant to me.

Renewing

2006-08-18T17:49:00.000-05:00

May 28th

Sunday Greg spoke on 1st Corinthians. His summary of Chapter ten was that, “We are the actors involved in a drama. God’s mission through Israel is to renew us.” Paul calls for the renewing of our minds and hearts. Another sentence that sticks out to me as I reread Sunday’s lecture, “Do not have a world view that makes you proud of your spirituality but rather your humbleness in Salvation through Christ.”

convictions

2006-08-10T16:33:00.000-05:00

May 27th

Formal discussions were sometimes difficult and usually frustrating. I had to get away and clear my mind after one lunch in particular. I promptly made my way up the stone steps to the empty pool and wrote.

Maybe the Beatles were right when they said, “imagine there’s no heaven, above us only sky.” But then again would I want that kind of world? [It would have] no meaning to anything and everything. If we knew all the answers and didn’t question anything would there be any purpose of existence or would we even exist? We had a formal lunch discussion revolving around the question, “How exclusive is Christianity and how can you say that only those who believe that only those who come to the father go through Christ first? Why can’t all roads lead to heaven? Why do we have to make so much of Christianity about heaven and hell? Why do other believers have to focus on the negative aspects and hypocrisy of the church? I am constantly coming back to the question of Why? I am convinced that I will never by myself be able to get rid of the stuff I’ve done in the past or will do in the future. Without the power and belief of God’s son, Jesus Christ who took on my sins and the sins of the world. It’s through that admission that I am a child of God. God acknowledges me because of Christ and through Christ I am accepted by God the father. The holy Spirit is here to help and compel me to make the right decisions, even if I don’t always make the right ones.

the montreux plan

2006-08-10T16:28:00.000-05:00

May 25th

I got a ticket to the Montreus Jazz festival! Montreux is a few towns away and Sigur-Ros is playing on the 3rd of July, a day after my Birthday! So it will be interesting to see how or what they’re like live, especially since Sigur-Ros is a mello band. I think mello might be a slight understatement.

nephews and volleyball

2006-08-10T16:16:00.000-05:00

May 24th

I’ve been wondering the past few days, when will my nephew be born? The element of the unknown makes me a little nervous. Yesterday, was spiced with a b it of sadness. Ryan headed out this morning. Although yesterday’s wet and cool v-ball game was very fun.
[BEN GET IT- I’ve GOT IT. Yeah, don’t mess with Lindsay, she’s fierce, but she’s fun to play with. I would say we was the heart of the games thiert at L’abri, but as far as the soul I’m not sure. Maybe Melissa would be the soul of the v-ball games.]

Yesterday’s “Team Ben” weed wacking was fairly successful, however the right side of my neck was killing me.

entertainment, war

2006-08-10T16:14:00.000-05:00

May

“If something is entertaining to me it must in some sense be acceptable to me.”
- Alcorn

Another fact that blew my mind in Alcorn’s book was that between 1973-1983 16 million abortions occurred. This amount is ten times the amount of Americans in all the casualties of every American war (omitting Desert Storm and The current war in Iraq). I should verify that fact, even though I’m sure Alcorn is a credible source. One last quote,“Pornography is like salt water, always drinking, but never satisfied, always thirsty but never quenched.”

movies and Judaism

2006-08-10T16:11:00.000-05:00

May 22nd

The rapidly excelling sound of a rewinding tape caught my attention. It was the crescendo that it was reaching reminded me of a dramatic scene in a movie. It struck me as somewhat funny. However, now that I think about it I don’t think it is very funny. My mind quickly sprinted down the path of cultural observation. Why is it that when we observe an interesting moment or event in time that we almost automatically think or say, “It was like it was something from a movie.” It’s a puzzling question but not as puzzling as our formal lunch discussion went today. I asked the difficult question “How can you answer someone when they ask you if you think all jews who do not believe in Christ are going to hell?

Richard and I talked more about that issue and I agree with him in that we don’t know who will be in hell or heaven, and that it’s not about a who’s in and who isn’t issue. I love Jewish culture and the people involved in it. The intricacy and depth of Judaism (and the Torah) blows my mind.

prayers and parties

2006-08-09T18:02:00.000-05:00

May 22nd

The Glory of God’s creation shouts out to us, causing us to marvel and wonder at it’s existence. With our heads bowed this morning, we prayed for L’abri and other people as well as other issues going on. There is a lot going on as far as the issues and problems that people are going through. It will be interesting to see what the climate is going to be like at the end of the term. For those of who have stayed the whole time, will we have learned a lot and grown more in the Spirit? I hope so. After we had hamburgers- real meat! and potato salad. Afterword, we enjoyed some chocolate gooey desert. I decided to volunteer for dishes and it turned into this crazy dance party afterward. [Best time to do dishes, ever.]

waiting temptation

2006-08-09T18:01:00.000-05:00

May

At the local bar up the road temptation waited, and I went for it. There’s this great combination in life, cigarettes and beer. I had already ordered a beer. The thought crossed my mind and I was dealing with a great deal of thoughts buzzing around. It had been about a year and a half (maybe 2 years?) since I smoked. Supposedly your body never (chemically) forgets a drug. Well, I would say that’s the case. Anyway I was really torn up about it and I just remember really craving a cigarette with my beer. There are some external reasons for being torn up about it (besides the obvious) but the cigarette at Le Sporting was the catalyst of several that would follow.

mr. disney was right - it's a small world

2006-08-09T18:00:00.001-05:00

Many strange and almost “accidental connections” occurred at L’abri one for example was the one with Reynolds. He went to High School with a friend from Memphis. MT I would consider an aquaintence because I want to be fair about that relationship. It might be a stretch to say that we are friends because I can probably remember three times in which we hung out together in Memphis. Anyway, MT and Reynolds hung out a lot in HS and I take it that they had some good times. Another strange connection is that MT’s aunt was my English teacher in 7th grade. She’s awesome. MT really isn’t from Memphis so I should clarify that because he wouldn’t appreciate it if I said he was from Memphis.

Cinnamon Rolls

2006-08-09T18:00:00.000-05:00

May 21st

The three L’abri (sterling) cinnamon roles that I consumed earlier linger in my thoughts and my stomach. I sit comfortably in the chapel among the students, workers and teachers. The past couple of days have been amazing. Coldplay’s “Fix You” circles around in my head as I’m waiting for the [pseudo] service to start. “Tears stream, down your face … and I will fix you.”

I became really burned out on that song but as soon as I got home and heard it on this movie preview I’ve been listening to it. Thomas, your acoustic version was great.

The Hike

2006-08-09T17:59:00.000-05:00

May 19

Alright, yesterday was much the adventure. Several of us went up to a peak and climbed death hill. We brought our lunches and ate on the top of it. (Death hill is appropriately named) The incline is incredible (think 35 degrees) and stones with moss liter the trail. I need to finish my quiet time, more on yesterday later.

That particular day has a comfortable place in my memory and it was basically throwing myself into his creation in the best possible. The day’s weather was questionable and right as we were finishing our lunches the clouds rolled over the hills just past the one that we were on. It was thrilling to say the least then we said, “uh, o.k. now let’s get out of here before it starts pouring the rain.” The phrase is kinda the same in memphis as it is in humeoz, “If you don’t like the weather wait five minutes.” That was the case on that day. When we found some shelter at a shackporch nearby it poured the rain and then on our way back it cleared up and it became sunny again.

Addiction #1

2006-08-09T17:58:00.000-05:00

May

A quick trend that caught on was volleyball. It’s hard to say no, especially with the scenery and the cool evening temperatures. (It soon became a great addiction- V-Ball Babee!)

blinded by science.

2006-08-08T17:28:00.000-05:00

I listened to this one tape about Hawking's A Brief History of Time. There were some truly ming boggling stuff from the book so it's a good thing that Barry Seagram spoke on it because if I tried to read the book I doubt I would have much success.

Eventually after you ask "What happened before then?" you come to a point which shows the limits of science. The No Boundary Condition states that you can never go back to time as 0.

Heir to L'abri

2006-08-08T17:23:00.000-05:00

Greg is a really cool guy. He has an amazing past. Greg is one of three "elders" at L'abri. They each serve a different role in relation to L'abri, but most of them are tutors. He was a rebellious 'hippie' (were there non rebellious ones?) in the 60's and lived in SF. He told us about this time that he was listening to Pink Floyd's "in the wall" and he remembered thinking that many of us feel that our questions to God are like the unanswered phone at the end of the Floyd song. He describes the end of the 'story' as bieng in community with Christ. Right now we are not completely in Community with God, but as Christians we will be. Greg also warned us about reductionism. I think Shaeffer might have been more of a reductionist than Greg.

hike

2006-08-08T16:38:00.000-05:00

May 24th

I did my first hike on the 15th and it was the scenic way to Villars. (Villars is a 30min. walk up the road.) We had this amazing curry dinner fixed by L'abri's Aussie, Karen.

Contextually speaking...

2006-08-08T16:31:00.000-05:00

Many words came through our discussions at Farel house, but none had a more lasting effect than "context." "Context is essential to looking at scripture," said Greg one time. I think the c word is Greg's favorite theological word and by the end of the term we all used it througout our conversations. Try it out sometime. Say somebody makes a statement or your friend makes a comment about the game you're watching or movie you're watching. Just respond, "Well, maybe from that type of context." Oh,yeah it gets interesting after that.

plastic surgery and inbreeding

2006-08-08T16:24:00.000-05:00

The end of study time went well because I found, "Where have all the dreamers gone?" Dinner was good. Mac Noodles with marinara and cottage cheese with awesome white bisquits. Melissa and Arne and I chatted about how sick plasic surgery is and all the inbreeding going on with Adam and Eve and people living 900 years. The evening was filled with "group" ping pong, spoons, (i got a rug burn), and a game of Nerts.

The Mountains and Popping the Nert Cherry

2006-08-08T16:12:00.000-05:00

May 12th

My first night at L'abri started the coincidencs or providential occurences, whichever you prefer to call them.

It has been Phenomenal here, visually, spiritually, and relationally. The mountains just scream for you to stare at them for hours and hours. It's been a whirlwind of discovery the past couple of days. I planned on being informative about everyday, but that's not possible.

I met the only other person (outside my fam. of course) to have the same last name. It was a crazy experience. I said, "Yeah, are there isn't an 'a' in it or a 'u'" and she went, "yeah!" The evening of the ninth was spent doing a clever game of Cranium.
A few days later we played this game I hadn't heard of called, "Nerts." It's basically a group game of Solitaire. It's all about speed and loudness. Oh, yeah and it makes you nervous too.

dissolving clouds

2006-08-08T14:36:00.000-05:00

May 12th

Yesterday I saw the mountains for the first time, they are so amazing!

After living in cloudiness and mellow, relative gloom, it was a unique experience to awaken and see those peaks, the depth, the texture, the snow, the SPACE!

to Aigle

2006-08-08T14:27:00.000-05:00

May 9th

The lakeside views thrilled me, even in my severely drowsy state. Clouds and mist hung heavy in the air, but I could still see the deep background of the mountains and the deep color of the lake.

This pretty girl just walked up to the stop. I waited a second. Something about her smacks of N.America. Maybe I’m way off. However, I see that her backpack says REI which is from Nashville so I’m thinking she is from the U.S. Today is the 9th of May, the Start of the Term. I did the ‘Bonjour’ test to see what her accent was like and her response was not flat like some other girls from the U.S. who I have encountered. Anyway, I’m going to go chat.

The chat went well and we had a great relationship throughout the term I think she fairly early into the term which was unfortunate. She reminds me of a girl from this cheesy Christian Japanime that I saw years ago. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. However, I said “reminds” it’s not like she has eyes the size of pitas.

Chalet Bellevue at L’Abri is homey and very, very old. Mama Kay introduces us to Bellevue and the guidelines (one crazy one being 2 showers a week). Several other people arrive including another Ben, who is studying to become a doctor and who would later become the second founder of Team Ben. Another person who I immediately clicked with was a girl who shared the exact last name as mine! Both of us had never known anyone else with the same last name. She is dramatic and fun. I feel that we really clicked and I will not forget out times together.

Another Food Mishap

2006-08-08T14:20:00.000-05:00

May 7th

So I was really hungry and eventually I found a place with alright looking Italian food. I ordered the pizza de something and thought, “yeah, it’ll be good because salami is on it.” So she brings it out and it has a freaking raw egg in the middle of it. What’s that about? Why do Italians put a raw egg in the middle of this type of pizza? It was gross looking, but I didn’t care because I was so hungry. I avoided the yolk and eventually it popped (gross). She charged me 25 CHF ($20) which I thought was a little high. I still can’t get over the fact that the tip is included in Switzerland, but I still felt bad leaving a 0.25 CHF tip.

I soon got over the not tip policy and it will be an adjustment to tip again.
Thai food is great. The bring together some good tastes that you don’t find in the Chinese food. The pre-meal hunger inspired some bizarre figures and a poem.

Thai food
Se vu pla
But I
Still can’t
Say “hey.”
It smells of smoke
And French women hack
Through words
Like a saw
sawing through
a giant waifer.
Water arrives
On the table
Yet I’m unable
To make
Sense of this
Moment
Thai food
Se vu pla

First Impressions

2006-08-08T14:14:00.000-05:00

May 5th

Another thing that was strange to me was hearing black people speaking in swiss-french, that was wild. I of course expected in my narrow mindset a southern English voice. Another thing about Geneva is that everybody, generally, is well put together. They kind of have the style of San Francisco, only without any noticeable bums on the street. Cigarettes are advertised more than beer or alcohol and they’re not your standard KOOL or Newport ads. They are well thought through and stylish. Instead of “whoohoo! We’re at the beach and smoking is so FUN!” it’s more like, “I’m sexy, cool, and you know it, and oh yeah did you notice that I smoke Kent cigarettes?” See, I even can remember the brand because Kent’s marketing strategy scheme works so well.

As I stopped to eat after a brief check in at the hotel I once again encountered a glimmer of the south, Elvis. The pub had over the speakers one of his songs.

I can’t write fast enough. This is wrong, but I saw this lady and she was thin and proportionate, but then BOING! Out of no where came her magnificent booty!
What a great Geneva welcome.

[ dealing with jet lag]

I feel not so much like a zombie but someone who is wearing a heavy soft blanket.

A minor tragedy about food arrived the next morning when I tried to find a decent place to eat a real breakfeast with bacon, eggs, cereal, oatmeal, etc. Every place that I stopped at to see their menus or food just had pastries or just croissants. So I noticed that everybody else around me just drank coffee and croissants. What is that about?

Que?

2006-08-04T11:04:00.000-05:00

May 5th

I wonder what I would think about myself If I was a French-speaking swiss person. The swiss are polite and not too polite. For some it seems that being polite is a duty rather than something forced. That works.

i n flight o f f flight

2006-08-04T10:45:00.000-05:00

I met my first travel acquaintence on the Newark – Geneva flight. The guy’s track record is amazing for a nineteen year old. We only really chatted towards the end of the trip. The funniest thing that he said about Switzerland was that “a lot of it (swit.) looks like it’s stuck in the 60’s.” I’ll facebook him eventually. A shiny glimmer of the south made it’s existence known in the sleepy morning as I was going through the “speed walk zone.” Just above me I saw Rhett Butler and Scarlett embracing within a plaque hanging from the ceiling. It was strange.

Boyish exictement

2006-08-04T10:43:00.000-05:00

May 5th

I wasn’t sure how far Newark was from NYC, but it’s right next to it. We flew in from the NE and I saw NYC, New York! I can’t believe I’ve never seen it before. I almost cried, almost. It struck me as just awesome. I wanted to shout, “It’s New York City! Look Everybody!” I will be here at Newark for about three hours. It’s wild to be in this state of mind. I’m in a state of mind where I don’t need to worry about that next deadline, being single, getting to work or packing. It’s really liberating. I definitely want to do some stuff.

The flight up to Jersey was fairly short but I found out that other than some extra leg room, seat A1 sucks.

l e a v i n g

2006-08-04T10:40:00.000-05:00

Initially, I had so much on my plate at the end of April that to suddenly have all of it behind me (a final determining my graduation, an internship, last minute projects, and packing) was a euphoric experience.
May 5th
I have perspective but I don’t have a great perspective on the future. I can think ahead, but I’’m not necessarily good at getting there. My trip today began last August. It started with a suggestion and then turned into a plan. Several decisions and internet orders later I’m here. And I must say that my father’s gusto in traveling and trip preperation definitely helped. Have you ever said that it would be awesome to just get up and go? I want to go to the – (fill in whatever). Well, today was kind of like that. It feels like that because I was completely ready to go this week except for a few small details. I lost my thought because I’m sitting here waiting to depart to Newark, New Jersey, Jerzee Babee! I love listening to them “tawk” They’re talking about gifts (souvenirs) for their kids and which trains to take when they get back. I would love to hear what they think about Memphis. From this perspective of the city from the airport it ain’t that pretty. This is wild I just checked my seat number, A1. I’ve never had that seat number before. The funny thing is that they of course board the back of the plane first.

travel from l'abri

2006-06-09T13:25:00.000-05:00

amidst the fields and smalls towns with quaint shops and friendly people, I realize the gift of friendship is a precious and beautiful thing. The time from thursday afternoon and up until this point have been spent in germany, at a friend's place, along with my bud from l'abri. I have already exceeded my average protien intake by three times, at least. oh, and it's nice that most things are fairly cheap. The food is great and the wine is cheap. The time hear has been a different kind of passing, one of observation and contemplation.

life is constant

2006-06-01T11:40:00.000-05:00

Many situations and various events have happened over the last week or so. Some of them have been frustrating, while some have been extremely joyous. The influx of new people and the constant exposure to other termers (students here till July 20) has been somewhat exhausting, but we've learned a lot from eachother. I've just learned to balance out more study and alone time lately. Today began gloriously bright, especially with some new snow on the tops and a clear blue sky. However, by the time we arrived in Montreux it became gloomy with clouds and the occasional rain drops. The pizza was overpriced, but the coffee was great and we continued the conversation (with some reluctance on my part) about relationships and when you should define them. So far this appears to be the only slight disadvantage of travelling with girls only.
A flying angel caught my attention as the train pushed out of montreux, and soon enough i was napping and attempting to analyze the afternoon.

_

2006-05-22T15:51:00.001-05:00

the mystery of beauty displayed through the complexities and changes of atmosphere perplex me. How does the combination of light (or lack there of) and water render such awe inspiring visuals?

I am easily taken bakc by the varying aethetics of nature. It's got to hav a lot to do with the simple fact that you are there, in it. You can see it change and dissolve or grow right in front of you. This evening the fog rolled in and the sky attained this magicla purple glow. Nothing could be seen unless it was within a few feet of the doorway or windows. The contrast of our roaring loud game of nerts to the soft misty outside made a great contrast. Other than our game of nerts the day was very mellow and academic, I only nodded off once.

2006-05-22T15:51:00.000-05:00

at the top

2006-05-21T15:22:00.000-05:00

thursday marked a highly emotional days as several of us attempted to walk up death hill. the outdoor areas are so vast around here. death is appropriately named since it is at a thirty five degree incline at least. after each horrendous level there is usually some type of field or open space and it's perfect for taking a break. as we reached one of the tops there was to my extreme delite ( that's a british word) snowy! the snow was very old but man it was awesome to see it!
alright, thats all the room i've got for right now.

mountain life

2006-05-17T16:02:00.000-05:00

There is not enough time to record all the various details and photos barely capture the true scope of the image. It is phenominal and mind blowing. Of course the time isn't completely woo hoo, but I mean would we ever question that if life was completely woo hoo and we didn't have any problems? I digress. Anyway, at Labri we have work in the afternoon and the only catch about anything is that we are limited to two showers a week. This area is very limited on resources, considered that it's not exactly easy to get to. Did I mention that this place is on the side of mountain? yeah, that aspect makes it a little challenging to get the basics for cheap.

settling

2006-05-17T15:44:00.000-05:00

My time in Geneva was a learining experience. The town is beautiful, but trying to find a decent breakfast was really tricky. Talking with new friends, Ondrea and Al was nice, especially since I could carry on a conversation with them beyond, "hello" and "thank you."

My train ride over to Aigle was breath taking, even though the mountain was shrowed in mist (if you know how to spell that please let me know. The cold weather on the day of my arrival really threw me off. The Chalet is beautiful and like all the other homes here it has so much personality. I just couldn't get over what someone said, "we are walking in the steps of Giants" reffering to the work of Francis and Edith Shaefer. I met several interesting and diverse people so far. The resources are out of control too. The library has so many offerings. The chalet is very old and it reminds me of bieng out at the millers, years ago: the smells, the sounds, and the feel of the place. The sky has been an absolute wall of white most of the time, but last thursday I saw out the window from my bunk the peaks!

It was beautiful. It's already the second week and I've already worn that word out. Seeing the mountain tops was a combination of the joy you get at christmas morning and the nervousness of a first date.

in GENEVA

2006-05-07T06:55:00.000-05:00

Bonjour!
I'm not sure where to start. I will say though that it is unfortunate that I cannot add any photos from my camera at this computer. The access to the USB is blocked. I'm a little on the hungry side and I become easily irriatable when I haven't eaten. (spelling, yikes!) Anyway, Geneva is beautiful and homely, but metro at the same time. There are all types of quaint houses and shops and then there are trains and massive amounts of tiny cars. oh yeah, I forgot to mention that people here love thier dogs. At the airport people even bring thier dogs inside.
Anyway, yesterday I discovered the museum dedicated to Martin Luther and the Reformation. I didn't want to take the time to browse through, so I just lingered around the area. It was quite a contrast coming from warm and wet memphis to cool and grey geneva.

the close of the semester

2006-05-03T15:21:00.000-05:00

The transitional phase of the semester and preparation for my trip is fading. My semester officially ended yesterday at twelve and I should have ran out screaming, "It's Over, It's Over!" but I was more in a savoring mood. I wanted to slowly record the details of my departure from the "history building" a drab reminant of the fifties or sixties with greasy floors and minimal decor. It was my last gen ed class ever. If I score above a sixty I will pass the course, which I will most likely do, God Willing. The question that I will be curious to know the answer of will be how well I will pass. The professor put a few crummy questions on the final. The questions were on the obscure side, but the essay part went well.
At the end of the day yesterday was the Senior Graphic Design show. It was a little tight in the gallery, but some of the work was really interesting. Each senior presented some type of 'business' and then they designed the 'look' of the business. One girl did a business plan for fossil, another guy did some screened t-shirts, and then this other guy did skateboards. Overall the show looked good, it's just such a shame that it had to be in the small 'jones' gallery. I'm actually going to another senior presentation in a few minutes. It's in the same gallery because we have to share with the other departments.
It's a bummer but at least we have a gallery.

the 'weekend'

2006-05-01T10:40:00.000-05:00

What was last weekend? I guess it was uneventful, but important non the less. It looks wierd when I type that out, but I'm sure that's the idiom that I meant. My friend and his girlfriend came by for dinner on Sunday, that was nice. OH yeah, how could I forget thursday evening. It's wasn't technically the weekend but it served the purpose just fine for that moment, unplug from your obligations. I hadn't been to the High Tone in a long time and it was nice to see some of my friends and psuedo-friends. I think I have too many pseudo friends, but I'm working on it. Anyway, the evening was great and Gina, Jen, and I headed over to the current day diner, Perkins. I say current day because modern doesn't fit the context. Modern was fifty years ago, and I don't think you can still say post modern becuase that's vague. 2023 could be considered Post Modern but it definately in the same era as 06. Back to perkins. We were having a good time until this jerk interuppted our conversation and let's just say that it was a huge time robbery. I mean the got broke into our proverbial time banks and took all of it. I was really torn inside because Jen and Gina felt that it was important to be a good witness to him however, the conversation (if you want to call it that) was one sided. Anyway, the incident was a great example of what not to do. I went through the details with my thoroughly knowledgeable parents and we went through the solutions for avoiding any such future bizmals. Saturday was spent in the realm of study and I didn't go out, but that wasn't a big deal, really.

one morning last week

2006-04-23T17:04:00.000-05:00

2006-04-23T16:32:00.000-05:00

Distraction should probably be my middle name. I used to be really good at it, fortunately I've become less distracted about things in life, especially unimportant ones. Knowing that I don't really have to care about anything soon is awesome. Let me rephrase that. In about 12 days I will be done with school, unemployed, and sailing towards the land of the swiss.

Square One.

2006-04-23T16:08:00.000-05:00

At this point in life I'm in a transtion. I'm about to go way out of town for a while.
I'm really excited, but I must hold off on that for the mean time because I've still got
so much on my plate. I'm trying or attempting to savor every moment, so that I don't
become a "what's next?" kind of person.